Friday of the Octave of Easter: John 21:1-14
The ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus was once quoted as saying, “You can’t step into the same river twice”. For one thing, a river is always moving and, therefore, always changing. By the time you step into it again, it isn’t quite the same river. Then again, when you step into the river a second time, you aren’t the same you. Our minds and bodies are also moving, changing, learning from experience, maturing and aging.
Yet, we often feel the desire to step into some old river a second time. Some married couples may celebrate an anniversary by going back to some place that was significant early in their relationship. People often return to their high schools or colleges for reunions, or just to see what the place looks like now and to recall some events. Others who have moved far from their birthplaces may feel a desire to go back for a visit, for the same reasons.
Whenever we try to go back in such a way, however, it can be a bittersweet moment. Yes, we may recall some happenings fondly, and want to tell someone else about them. But the place isn’t quite the same, and neither are we. The person we may be with may never have had those experiences. Not only that, but we aren’t the same. Why do we go? At times, it may be simply to recall the good times we had, or supposed we had, in some former period of our lives. At other times, we may be trying to recapture something we feel we have lost, or may be in danger of losing – our youth, our zest for life, our love for a spouse, or our commitment to our faith. Sometimes, going back isn’t entirely pleasant. We may remember events that now bring us shame, or that bring to mind past hurts, or hopes that were dashed, or relationships that failed. We may rediscover that we have, at times, failed to be the people we thought we were, the people we tried to be. Going back presents us with a question – “Who are we now?” – and a choice – “Who do we want to be?” Where does my river flow from here?
Today’s Gospel reading presents to us several disciples of Jesus who are confronting this very question. In one sense, it seems odd that they are doing this at all, especially at this point in the story. In the previous chapter of John’s Gospel, we saw that the Risen Jesus had appeared to the disciples and seemingly had turned their fears into overwhelming joy. Jesus had given them his own peace, had breathed on them the Holy Spirit, and had empowered them to forgive sins. Jesus returned a second time to call forth Thomas’ faith (more on that in my next post!).
But now, in Chapter 21, the scene has shifted. These disciples have left Jerusalem and are back by the Sea of Tiberias (the Sea of Galilee), where it all began for them. We aren’t told why they returned there. It seems that, in spite of becoming witnesses of Jesus’ Resurrection, there is some unfinished business in their lives. They seem lost and adrift. Peter finally says that he’s going fishing – his old ‘vocation’ – and the others promptly join him.
Whether they are aware of it or not, their story is beginning to look a lot like what happened when they first met Jesus, according to Luke 5:1-11. Back then, they were out fishing all night and caught nothing. Jesus comes to them, gets into Peter’s boat, and wants him to go out again and lower his nets. He does, and happens upon a huge catch of fish. He then begs Jesus to leave him, as he is, in his words, a sinful man. Jesus assures Peter that, from now on, Peter will be catching people.
So, here we go again. The disciples head out. They work hard and catch nothing. The Risen Jesus is on the shore, calling out to them, telling them to cast their net to the other side of the boat. They do so, and make a huge catch. The ‘Beloved Disciple’ then realizes that the One who called out to them is the Lord. Peter immediately dives into the lake to go to Jesus. The others haul the catch to shore.
But now things get even more interesting. The Risen Jesus offers them food – bread and fish – clearly recalling how he fed thousands with a few loaves and fish, and connecting that with the Last Supper and the Eucharist. Then, if we continue the story beyond today’s reading, Jesus has a conversation with Peter, as he did in Luke 5. Not about sin, but about love. “Do you love me?” Peter is asked. Then again. Then a third time. Jesus then re-commissions Peter to be a fisher of people – to feed his lambs and tend his sheep.
What was going on during the disciples’ time of ‘going back’ to Galilee? There was some unfinished business, it seems. They needed to be healed. Most of them had fled Jesus when he was arrested; Peter followed for a time, only to deny Jesus three times. This needed to be acknowledged and healed. Thus, Jesus asks Peter three times about Peter’s love for Jesus.
Moreover, the disciples needed direction. Their human skills, even at fishing, would not be enough. They needed to be listening for the voice of the Risen Lord to guide their efforts – a voice that can only be discerned and heard by contemplative, loving hearts. They needed to be fed by Jesus – hence the bread and fish, hints of the Eucharist by which they would be sustained by the very Body and Blood of Jesus himself. Finally, they needed to be forgiven and healed. Their failure needed to be acknowledged, but in the context of love and mercy. Once they had been renewed in all these ways, they would be ready to hear once again the Lord’s call and to respond to it – now, not by their own skills, but by their readiness to listen for and respond to the Lord’s words and let the Lord take the lead.
What about us? Don’t we have a tendency to fall back on our old skills, the things that always worked for us before? Or, do we sometimes feel that the latest ideas or skills will solve every problem? Whether we find ourselves stuck in the same old routines that never got us anywhere, or chasing the ‘latest’ and ‘greatest’ mirage to come down the pike, we will be floundering spiritually either way. The best way for us to “go back” is to place ourselves in a state where we are ready to hear the Lord’s voice and let Jesus take the lead. We are here to do the Lord’s work. The Holy Spirit sets our agenda – not the latest program nor the oldest method.
Placing ourselves before the Lord, we may also find that we have unfinished business. Some sin or failure that we haven’t quite acknowledged; something done to us that even now afflicts us with shame or guilt, even though we didn’t want it; some vague sense of losing our way. The Risen Jesus comes to us in the same way, calling to us from the shore, telling us to trust him and to cast our nets in a different way. Then, we are ready to be fed by him, healed by him, and then sent back into our commitments by him, with hearts and minds renewed. We also find that, once we have received the gift of the Lord’s mercy, we can give that same mercy to other lost and adrift souls. And this is the whole point: “Love one another as I have loved you!”